
Training Children’s EQ with Delayed Gratification?
Training Children’s EQ with Delayed Gratification? Written by: Pang Chi Wah, Registered Educational Psychologist, New Horizons Development Centre Hong Kong is a materially affluent society, but due to the abundance of resources, when children have needs in their lives, parents quickly fulfill those needs, providing them with continuous satisfaction. However, when parents satisfy their children’s needs too quickly, it can have negative effects, failing to train their ability to endure. Over time, their patience may become limited. Using Everyday Emotions to Cultivate Patience in Children Delaying gratification or the fulfillment of life’s needs is an important aspect of developing emotional intelligence (EQ). If parents are accustomed to quickly meeting their children’s needs but then complain about their lack of patience, such comments are unfair to the children, as their patience simply hasn’t been cultivated. How can we teach children to delay their needs? To train children’s emotional intelligence, the key is to “not use harsh measures or rewards.” This means avoiding both physical punishment and frequent rewards, but rather honing their patience and ability to wait through everyday experiences and challenges. Parents can try the following examples: Example 1: When parents take their children to a dim sum restaurant, they shouldn’t immediately order whatever the children like. Instead, parents can ask the children to finish one basket of dim sum before waiting an additional five minutes before having another type. Alternatively, children can be asked to wait until the parents have eaten part of a basket before they can eat.