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This Life is Also About Progress, But Are You Happy?

23/01/2025

This Life is Also About Progress, But Are You Happy? Written by: Dr. Wong Chung-kwong, Vice Chairman of The Hong Kong Institute of Family Education “Unsuccessful, therefore unhappy!” This mindset is not difficult to understand. However, in today’s world, why are many successful people still unhappy? In my clinical work, I often encounter many unhappy individuals. Years ago, a successful and wealthy man in his sixties confided in me. He shared that after years of hard work in his career, accumulating wealth, he felt lonely and unhappy. I asked him, “What have you been pursuing all your life?” Without hesitation, he answered, “My career.” I continued, “What have you gained in your career but lost in the process?” He pondered for a while and then admitted that his relationship with his wife and children was very distant. There are two things in life that are quite similar, and not understanding the difference between them is often a significant reason for unhappiness. These two things are “needs” and “wants.” To be happy, we “need” emotional fulfillment, which includes good family relationships and friendships. However, many people, in their pursuit of what they “want”—careers and wealth—neglect their families and undervalue friendships. Even though they achieve the careers and wealth they desire, their emotional “needs” remain unmet, leading to loneliness and unhappiness. If you feel unhappy, take a moment to pause and reflect on what you have been pursuing in life. “I had everything in my childhood, but I lacked… “Have you ever

Instead of Overprotecting, It’s Better to Accompany Them Through Ups and Downs.

23/12/2024

Instead of Overprotecting, It’s Better to Accompany Them Through Ups and Downs. Written by: Child Play Therapist, Marriage and Family Therapist, Ms. Lee Wai Zi Recently, I saw a friend share a short video on Facebook, featuring her 5-year-old son demonstrating how to cut broccoli with a serrated knife. The edited video lasted about three and a half minutes and was filmed entirely by the mother. In the video, the boy’s cutting skills were not exactly proficient, but he wore a calm expression and explained his actions confidently. As a therapist, I completely agree with the mother’s approach of allowing her child to learn and gain experience from life. After all, the harm from a serrated knife is limited; even if he does cut himself, it would likely only result in a minor injury, and children tend to recover quickly. However, as a mother myself, I couldn’t help but feel worried while watching the entire process. When the boy successfully cut through the broccoli, I let out a sigh of relief. I greatly admired his patience and effort, but I was even more impressed by the mother’s courage. Many parents often struggle between allowing their children to try new things and worrying about them facing setbacks. While many parents rationally understand that children need some autonomy to develop a sense of responsibility and confidence, the instinct to protect their children from failure or pain is powerful. These worries and anxieties lead parents to protect their children from making mistakes in

Three Family Education Practices Every Parent Can Implement

15/11/2024

Three Family Education Practices Every Parent Can Implement Written by: Founder & Volunteer Director of Good Love Passion　 　　　        Lam Ho Pui Yee   People often have different views on “family education.” Some may say that family education is the education provided within the family or the integration of family and education. If you believe that family education involves raising children and teaching them the principles of life, then congratulations! You already have a fairly accurate understanding of family education. Here are three important and easily achievable family education practices for your reference:   Engage in Conversations at the Dinner Table If parents tend to educate or reprimand their children at the dinner table, it can lead to feelings of sadness and digestive issues in the child. Many parents also enjoy watching TV while eating, which not only distracts the child but can also cause indigestion. The valuable “conversations” and “laughter” in family life can reduce stress and create a harmonious atmosphere of mutual trust and happiness. Starting today, please put down your phones, stop browsing the internet during meals, and sincerely enjoy a meal with your family.   Engage in Conversations at the Dinner Table If parents tend to educate or reprimand their children at the dinner table, it can lead to feelings of sadness and digestive issues in the child. Many parents also enjoy watching TV while eating, which not only distracts the child but can also cause indigestion. The valuable “conversations” and “laughter” in family life can

Master These 3 Tips to Help Your Children Follow Instructions!

15/10/2024

Master These 3 Tips to Help Your Children Follow Instructions! “Why don’t you listen?” “Look at how well-behaved that child is.” Have you ever found these phrases familiar? The issue of children not listening is a common problem that many parents struggle to resolve. Some parents resort to scolding, which can worsen the parent-child relationship, while others choose to ignore the behavior, fearing their children will become worse as they grow up. If you want your children to grow up healthy and happy while also being able to follow instructions, it’s actually not difficult—the key lies in the hands of the parents. Avoid Bombarding with Demands Put yourself in their shoes. Imagine that when you arrive at work, your boss immediately throws ten tasks at you. You would likely feel frustrated, unsure of where to start, and overwhelmed by the sheer volume of work. The same goes for children; receiving too many instructions at once can leave them feeling confused, and they may not have the ability to prioritize those tasks, leading them to simply “pretend not to hear.” Parents should wait for their children to complete one task before giving them another, rather than listing all demands at once.         2.Avoid Using Interrogative Phrasing Some parents like to give instructions in the form of questions, such as “How about you clean up after eating?” For children, this is not an instruction but rather a question that they can choose to ignore. If parents want their children

Five Golden Rules of Parenting

14/09/2024

Five Golden Rules of Parenting As parents, we all want our children to excel. Parents bear a tremendous responsibility to raise children in the best possible way. But what constitutes good parenting? Good parenting emerges when parents provide a stable, nurturing home environment, serve as positive role models, and actively engage in their children’s lives. Good parenting is about fostering a child’s holistic development, imparting moral education, and guiding children through open communication and mutual respect. Responsible parents tailor their approach, instill good values, use rewards and punishments judiciously, and positively influence their children’s behavior.        1.Spend Quality Parent-Child Time Together The best gift you can give your child is your time! Be present for them! No matter how busy you and your child are, make time to “connect” together. Understanding your child more leads to family unity. Play games happily together, plan and do things together. Ensure that good habits and positive attitudes are cultivated during this time spent together.         2.Provide Unconditional Love Parental love and warmth are fundamental ingredients for a child’s happiness. The more children feel their parents’ love, the more willing they are to listen and learn. Before lecturing your child, provide them with unconditional love through hugs, kisses, and words. Research shows that a child needs 12 hugs a day.  3.Avoid Corporal Punishment and High-Pressure Education While the saying “spare the rod and spoil the child” holds some truth, excess severity can backfire. It’s essential to avoid corporal punishment.

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