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This Life is Also About Progress, But Are You Happy?

23/01/2025

This Life is Also About Progress, But Are You Happy? Written by: Dr. Wong Chung-kwong, Vice Chairman of The Hong Kong Institute of Family Education “Unsuccessful, therefore unhappy!” This mindset is not difficult to understand. However, in today’s world, why are many successful people still unhappy? In my clinical work, I often encounter many unhappy individuals. Years ago, a successful and wealthy man in his sixties confided in me. He shared that after years of hard work in his career, accumulating wealth, he felt lonely and unhappy. I asked him, “What have you been pursuing all your life?” Without hesitation, he answered, “My career.” I continued, “What have you gained in your career but lost in the process?” He pondered for a while and then admitted that his relationship with his wife and children was very distant. There are two things in life that are quite similar, and not understanding the difference between them is often a significant reason for unhappiness. These two things are “needs” and “wants.” To be happy, we “need” emotional fulfillment, which includes good family relationships and friendships. However, many people, in their pursuit of what they “want”—careers and wealth—neglect their families and undervalue friendships. Even though they achieve the careers and wealth they desire, their emotional “needs” remain unmet, leading to loneliness and unhappiness. If you feel unhappy, take a moment to pause and reflect on what you have been pursuing in life. “I had everything in my childhood, but I lacked… “Have you ever

Training Children’s EQ with Delayed Gratification?

23/01/2025

Training Children’s EQ with Delayed Gratification? Written by: Pang Chi Wah, Registered Educational Psychologist, New Horizons Development Centre Hong Kong is a materially affluent society, but due to the abundance of resources, when children have needs in their lives, parents quickly fulfill those needs, providing them with continuous satisfaction. However, when parents satisfy their children’s needs too quickly, it can have negative effects, failing to train their ability to endure. Over time, their patience may become limited. Using Everyday Emotions to Cultivate Patience in Children Delaying gratification or the fulfillment of life’s needs is an important aspect of developing emotional intelligence (EQ). If parents are accustomed to quickly meeting their children’s needs but then complain about their lack of patience, such comments are unfair to the children, as their patience simply hasn’t been cultivated. How can we teach children to delay their needs? To train children’s emotional intelligence, the key is to “not use harsh measures or rewards.” This means avoiding both physical punishment and frequent rewards, but rather honing their patience and ability to wait through everyday experiences and challenges. Parents can try the following examples: Example 1: When parents take their children to a dim sum restaurant, they shouldn’t immediately order whatever the children like. Instead, parents can ask the children to finish one basket of dim sum before waiting an additional five minutes before having another type. Alternatively, children can be asked to wait until the parents have eaten part of a basket before they can eat.

Play With Toys to Help Young Children Develop, Don’t Just Rely on Technology Products

23/01/2025

Written by: Certified Educational Psychologist Pang Chi Wah, New Horizons Development Centre Written by: Certified Educational Psychologist Pang Chi Wah, New Horizons Development Centre As the 21st century has entered the generation of electronic media, many parents are not used to buying newspapers, but have also become accustomed to communicating with people online, shopping, reading newspapers and playing games etc. Some parents have also started to buy fewer toys for their children because many games can be played online anytime and anywhere, which is convenient and economical, and the items are diversified and easy to carry. In fact, the use of computers is becoming more and more popular, from the business world to the education world and everyone’s daily life. Some parents feel that they need to teach their children to use computers as soon as possible so that they can be one step ahead of others and become smarter. But this argument ignores the fact that no matter how diversified and comprehensive the use of electronic media is, everyone needs to live in the real world and deal with their daily lives in a real way. In recent years, more and more children are being diagnosed with sensory integration dysfunction, some of which are genetic in origin, but some of which are caused by a lack of proper stimulation in later life. Regardless of the cause, society is increasingly demanding more and more of human sensory integration, but unfortunately, as young children grow up, their bodies are less likely

Primary School Application. How do parents choose schools for their children?

23/12/2024

Primary School Application. How do parents choose schools for their children? Written by: Gigamind English Primary School, Principal Kenneth Law The Primary 1 application process has begun. How can parents choose the right school for their children? How to determine if a school is the right one? While a child’s individual traits are certainly important, young children are highly adaptable. Therefore, the parents’ expectations for education and whether the school can meet those expectations become more crucial. Parents can learn about a school through the following methods: School websites Many parents would use the school website to understand the school, but the design direction of different school websites varies, making it difficult to compare them. However, websites generally provide some basic information, which can be considered a convenient way to learn about the school. Primary School Profile “Primary School Overview” is also a means to obtain basic information about schools. Unlike websites, the layout of “Primary School Overview” has limitations on titles and word count, making it appear easier to compare. However, it is difficult to see the school’s features, so “Primary School Overview” can only be considered as an additional convenient approach for parents to get to know the school. Understanding through “Word of Mouth” Collecting opinions of different people about the school, commonly known as “word of mouth,” can be an important way to understand the school. In fact, it is also a significant factor considered by most parents. However, there are two points that parents need to

Instead of Overprotecting, It’s Better to Accompany Them Through Ups and Downs.

23/12/2024

Instead of Overprotecting, It’s Better to Accompany Them Through Ups and Downs. Written by: Child Play Therapist, Marriage and Family Therapist, Ms. Lee Wai Zi Recently, I saw a friend share a short video on Facebook, featuring her 5-year-old son demonstrating how to cut broccoli with a serrated knife. The edited video lasted about three and a half minutes and was filmed entirely by the mother. In the video, the boy’s cutting skills were not exactly proficient, but he wore a calm expression and explained his actions confidently. As a therapist, I completely agree with the mother’s approach of allowing her child to learn and gain experience from life. After all, the harm from a serrated knife is limited; even if he does cut himself, it would likely only result in a minor injury, and children tend to recover quickly. However, as a mother myself, I couldn’t help but feel worried while watching the entire process. When the boy successfully cut through the broccoli, I let out a sigh of relief. I greatly admired his patience and effort, but I was even more impressed by the mother’s courage. Many parents often struggle between allowing their children to try new things and worrying about them facing setbacks. While many parents rationally understand that children need some autonomy to develop a sense of responsibility and confidence, the instinct to protect their children from failure or pain is powerful. These worries and anxieties lead parents to protect their children from making mistakes in

Oral Muscle Development Training: Laying the Foundation for Language Skills

23/12/2024

Oral Muscle Development Training: Laying the Foundation for Language Skills Written by: Speech Therapist Ms Jenny T. Y. Kwok Every child’s language ability is different. Some children can speak various words by the age of one and form sentences by two, communicating effectively with others. However, some children develop their language skills more slowly. In fact, the development of oral muscles has a profound impact on both eating and language abilities. Parents can engage in various small games to train their children’s oral muscles, laying a solid foundation for their language development. Oral muscles include the muscles of the cheeks, lips, tongue, and jaw, which develop and improve with age and eating experiences. The strength, control, flexibility, and coordination of these muscles are crucial factors in a child’s ability to learn to speak. Daily meal times provide excellent practice opportunities. However, some cases involve children primarily eating finely chopped or pureed foods, which can hinder the normal development of their chewing abilities, affecting both eating and language development. Common issues include drooling and unclear or inaccurate pronunciation, so oral muscle problems must be addressed. Here are some simple games to train oral muscles, which we hope will improve children’s oral capabilities through fun activities, thus laying a strong foundation for their language skills. Blowing Practice  How to Play: First, prepare a basin of water and position it between the parent and child, who should face each other. Fill the basin halfway with water and place a paper boat on the

Open-ended questions help enhance children’s associative skills

23/12/2024

Open-ended questions help enhance children’s associative skills Written by: Pang Chi Wah, Registered Educational Psychologist Many parents hope to enhance their children’s thinking skills. In fact, as long as parents properly guide their children to connect some small things in life and then ask leading questions, they can consciously think about the things they see and related knowledge. For example, when children see an apple, let them think about what kind of object is also round or red; when they hear the sound of birds, they will think about what kind of animal can fly. Ask your child more questions that are not restrictive   When parents ask children questions, do not force them to answer or ask for a definite answer, or even ask them to answer the question right away because they may still be thinking about it. Parents do not need to ask any restrictive questions and can ask whatever comes to mind, such as what kind of objects chopsticks are like and what kind of people wear uniforms like students. In addition to making them think more, parents can also think and discuss with their children as a parent-child activity, which helps to enhance their relationship.   In addition to asking individual questions, parents can also allow children to answer questions with their siblings or friends. For children with higher ability, parents can let them answer more different answers; for children with average ability, they can answer fewer answers; for those with weaker ability, parents can

Understanding Common Infectious Diseases in Schoolchildren

15/11/2024

Understanding Common Infectious Diseases in Schoolchildren Written by : Dr. Chiu Cheung Shing   The weather in Hong Kong can be unpredictable, and combined with children’s weaker immune systems, they are prone to various illnesses. Moreover, children learn and play together at school, making it easy for infectious diseases to spread. Therefore, parents must have a certain understanding of common infectious diseases among schoolchildren to take necessary preventive measures and avoid infections.   In Hong Kong, schoolchildren’s infectious diseases can be categorized based on their mode of transmission:   Droplet Transmission Children can inhale droplets expelled by an infected person when they sneeze, cough, spit, or talk. They may also touch surfaces contaminated with pathogens and then touch their eyes, nose, or mouth, allowing the virus to enter their bodies and cause infection. Common illnesses include upper respiratory infections (commonly referred to as colds), influenza, and hand, foot, and mouth disease.   Contact Transmission This occurs when viruses are transmitted through direct contact with an infected person’s body, such as skin-to-skin contact. The most common example is hand, foot, and mouth disease.   Airborne Transmission Pathogens can remain suspended in the air for a period, entering the human body through the respiratory system without direct contact. Common diseases transmitted this way include chickenpox and measles. Hygiene-Related Infections Some infectious diseases arise from improper personal hygiene, such as urinary tract infections or gastroenteritis (commonly referred to as stomach flu).   Handling Infectious Diseases   When a child contracts any infectious disease,

How to Make Good Use of “One, Two, Three”

15/11/2024

How to Make Good Use of “One, Two, Three” Written by: Doctor Cheung Kit   I often see comments about parenting online and in newspapers. Many people believe that modern children are becoming increasingly difficult to control. For some reason, they seem to be getting smarter and more self-centered, so they don’t easily follow the guidance of their elders. Personally, I tend to be more conservative and believe that the main reason for children’s behavioral issues lies in our inadequate guidance as adults. In theory, no matter how intelligent a child is, as long as boundaries and rules are established early on, they can follow them well. Among various methods, today I want to discuss how to effectively use “One, Two, Three.”   This method is particularly effective for young children because their responses are simply about following the rules they are given. The approach is that when a child exhibits inappropriate behavior, parents can count “One, Two, Three.” If the child does not stop after the count, parents should impose appropriate consequences. The benefits of this method include:   When children hear “One, Two, Three,” they know their parents are serious. “One, Two, Three” is time-bound; children cannot use delay tactics. It is more effective than saying “Hurry up” or “Right now.” Children have time to complete what they might originally think is acceptable behavior, so it doesn’t feel too abrupt. Actually, before saying “One, Two, Three,” there is an implicit understanding between parents and children:   Both parties

Are You Fearful of Answering Calls from School?

15/11/2024

Are You Fearful of Answering Calls from School? Written by: Heep Hong Society Educational Psychologist Team   During a parents’ meeting, Mrs. Wong expressed her fear of receiving calls addressed to her as “Mrs. Wong,” as they are usually from her son Didi’s class teacher. Each time, the call revolves around complaints about Didi’s unusual behavior in class—either he frequently leaves his seat or disrupts his classmates during lessons. On rare occasions when he stays in his seat, she hopes for some quiet, but within 15 minutes, he becomes active again, and his disruptive behavior resumes. The most frustrating issue for the teacher is Didi’s noticeable lack of focus compared to his peers. He cannot concentrate for long during lessons; even the sound of a classmate coughing or whispering is enough to distract him, especially in dull classes where his attention drops rapidly.   Didi is also an impulsive child. There was an incident when a classmate sitting next to him accidentally kicked him, and he immediately retaliated with his fists. He often speaks without thinking, which frequently embarrasses those around him. Over time, not only do many teachers dislike him, but his classmates also find him very annoying. As a result, during recess, Didi often finds himself alone. Each day he comes home and complains to his mother about how unhappy he is because no one wants to play with him, and each time she hears this, her heart aches. She patiently talks to Didi, hoping he will realize

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